The Silence Mandate: How the 'Strong Man' Myth Fuels a Mental Health Crisis

The experience of the working man in South Africa is often reduced to income and employment figures. Yet, beneath the surface of financial struggles and career pressures, a profound psychological crisis is taking hold, driven by rigid societal expectations that equate emotional expression with fundamental weakness.

This mandate of silence has turned a generation of men into silent sufferers, funnelling distress into destructive coping mechanisms.

From childhood, many South African men are conditioned by powerful masculinity myths, often reinforced by phrases like "man up" or "real men don’t cry."

These cultural expectations dictate that a man must always be strong, in control, and independent, teaching boys and men to suppress their emotions rather than admitting they are struggling.

The cost of this enforced silence is devastatingly high. Approximately 13.5% of South African men exhibit symptoms of depression. However, this figure is likely understated because the cultural belief that emotional vulnerability is unacceptable ensures many men go undiagnosed and untreated, battling depression and anxiety in isolation.

When this internal pressure intersects with job loss or financial instability, the psychological harm is compounded, often leading men to feel like failures because they cannot fulfill the traditional role of "provider".

When healthy emotional outlets are culturally prohibited, men frequently turn to socially acceptable—yet highly destructive—substitutes to manage their internal turmoil.

This suppression often leads to increased substance use, with alcohol and drugs becoming a socially sanctioned method of self-medication to numb difficult feelings or situations. We have seen concerning trends, such as the prevalence of recent drug use among South African men increasing significantly, rising from 3.3% in 2002 to 15.5% in 2017.

It is vital for working men to recognize that while substances may offer temporary emotional relief, they carry severe and immediate consequences in safety-sensitive professions. In high-risk environments, such as the mining sector, many companies enforce Zero Tolerance policies. Under these conditions, an employee testing positive for illegal substances may be deemed guilty of gross misconduct and face immediate dismissal on the first offense, as policies in safety-critical areas prioritize the occupational health and safety of the entire workforce.

The ultimate, tragic toll of this mandated silence is the exceptionally high suicide rate for men in South Africa, recorded at 37.6 per 100,000—a figure directly linked to the deep-seated feeling of being unable or unsafe to articulate their struggles.

Changing a culture of silence requires collective effort. Every individual can play a role in creating a safer, more supportive environment for the men in their lives:

• Challenge the Narrative: Actively reject and challenge the "man up" stereotype whenever you hear it. Use positive language that links emotional awareness to strength and leadership.

• Be a Safe Listener: Offer unconditional listening without judgement. When a man opens up, resist the urge to offer quick fixes. Simply validate their feelings and acknowledge that their struggle is real.  

• Encourage Professional Help: If you suspect a friend or colleague is struggling (e.g., increased substance use or emotional suppression), gently guide them toward professional support. Frame it not as an admission of weakness, but as a proactive step toward gaining necessary tools for a complex problem.

• Prioritise Your Own Health: By demonstrating that you prioritize your own physical and mental well-being, you provide a powerful, living example that seeking help is normal and beneficial.

By working together—at home, in the workplace, and within the community—we can help working men move beyond the silence mandate and build a foundation of genuine, emotional resilience.

Bilnor believes in the emportance of emotional literacy—the ability to identify, understand, and express feelings healthily—and is not a luxury but a critical life skill for resilience and stability.